If you like :

1) Good Music

2) Engine Down and the Appleseed cast  

3)Hungarian People 

4) Bands who put whole cds up for download for free click here 

when the cats away...

So my boss will be out of town until next wednesday ... this mean I have roughly 6 days to find something constructive to do. I only need about 2 days to plan for the three days that will remain in the week he returns. So today I have completely re-organized my desk. now that I've finished that task I'm not exactly sure what to do next. 

Hey Dude/Dudes/People who stole my scooter. 

THE END

okay so this is kinda cute......

but who took the time to have this done?

No-one someone actually paid an artist to have this done... obsessed? 

tuesday

"hey your eye looks much better today" Jackie

"hey thanks!" me

"did you ever figure out what was wrong?" Jackie

"ummm I think it was just a stye" me

"oh no! do you know how contagious those are?" Jackie

"not at all, you get them mainly from your own eyelashes" me

"oh yeah I'm thinking of pink-eye" Jackie

"wow"  - Me

I spy a stye in my eye

It's monday , and I'm back to work, with an awesome swollen eye. It keeps getting better, than worse, than better again.  It was all awesome last night and I thought it was going to go away, but this morning I woke up and it was kinda ugly again. And now It's better again. Who knows what's next, right?

I want nothing more to go home and go back to sleep and wake up with my eye back to normal.  So I'm literally just counting down the time until I get to leave for the day. 2hrs 50mins to be exact. 

I hate mondays. As it is I'm usually in no mood to work on Mondays so to force myself to work is enough of a hassle but apparently I'm not the only person who does not check in until tuesday rolls around. I get ahold of so few people on Mondays that it feels like I'm not really accomplishing anything substantial.  Nothing ever happens on Mondays so even as I sit here trying to think of something interesting to write about nothing of any worth comes out.  2hrs 43 minutes left. 

Why is it that times seems to go slower when you want it to fly by, and the moments in life you really enjoy the moments you live for that make you feel really, really alive vanish before you even realize they're happening. 

The Stye in my eye feels like it's been here for months

Work goes by slower than slow

and it feels like it will be years before I get my drum-set.  2hrs 40 mins to go. 

Yet, -When I'm laying in bed with my wife before I fall asleep and I'm just looking at her it feels like I blink and then I'm waking up and having to go to work. 

-Weekends are never long enough. 

-When I tell myself " You can stay up for 1 more hour, and enjoy this time with friends" I look at my clock what feels like seconds later and I've been up for 2 hrs. 

-Sunny Days that are followed by cold days

-Enjoying having my best friends in the whole world living literally feet away. 2hrs 35 mins left

These are the times that I wish would last forever and not disappear. So I will try desperately to grasp at everyone of them , cherish them, hope I don't miss a single one and lock them away deep in my most sacred place so when I'm having days like this one where time stands still, I can pull them out and relive them in my mind and pass the time. 

 I want every little detail like the last thing she said to me before she fell asleep, what shirt he was wearing when we sat in the park and the cop asked us if that abandoned car belonged to us, what kind of wine she was drinking for the 15 minutes where we had our first one on one conversation in way too long, which Ed Hardy hat he was wearing the night we went out just the 2 of us and he spilled his guts for hours about a broken heart, the funny looks where words are simply not needed to communicate a thought or the way my friends and family look through the eyes of dancing, crazy gorilla mask wearing fool.  2hrs 25 mins

These are the memories I want the most so when I close my eyes just tight enough I can see pictures, watch movies, and listen to songs that make me smile. 

I know this post took a strange turn from surface b.s. into something more deep but please do not mistake these thoughts as sad ones for they are not at all. They are very happy thoughts of my most favorite things.  Screw getting old. We are the young ones, we are boys and girls not Men and Women. Men and Women get old, Men and Women aren't invincible, Men and Women rely too much on logic and not enough on emotion. Men and Women have to remind themselves to stop and smell roses. That's not me, that's not us. 

Who want's to make some memories? 

2hrs

THIS IS HOW I WRECK THE SYSTEM!

" I wear My Sunglasses at work, So I can So I can, Fall asleep at my desk and noone know!"

Random thoughts today.

- Man I should shave everything but that mustache

- I hate wind

- Dude a Breakfast burrito would kick serious hiny

- I need new jeans

- Steve's house burnt down so he's living in a hotel

That's right I just need to elaborate on that last one. Steve's house didn't burn down per say, however the smoke damage of a decent sized fire has left them in the comforts of the comfort inn. I understand the smoke from a fire can ruin all of your clothes. But don't come to work in cotton sweat-pants!!!!! God I hope he doesn't get arroused! (sweat-pants boner? )

That's all I got. My thinking is so random that I can't force to many awesome thought, that coupled with the fact that it's friday can only lead to one thing.

PHOTO JOURNAL!!!!!!

Yeah you're right it probably won't be as amazing as it sounds. But we'll see.

9:15 am Entry Title : "What I've done so far today"

10:54 am Entry Title : "Is it weird that I'm surrounded by phone books?"

11:00 am Entry Title : "what is it about sweatpants that makes you look like you just pooped your pants?"





11:30 am Entry Title : "THERE SHE IS!!!!! AND GUESS WHAT SHE'S LEAVING IN 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!"

P.S. I told her I was texting HAHAHAH

The Spoon is Brown

I may leave early today.

Are you feeling sick? 

Are you tired? 

Do you have things to take care of? 

Do you have somewhere you need to be? 

Absolutely not, to all of these. I feel fine I'm neither tired nor am I sick.  I am extremely bored. You see friends, being good at my job allows me to always stay ahead of the game and ocassionally I'm so far ahead that there really is not much to do. It's not like I'm going to call Tough Truck Repair and ask Alex if he wants to set up a meaning 2 weeks out. you know what I mean? Probably not. Anyway that's how it is. 

Plus I am having a bit of a hard time focusing today. Give me a break though it's monday. So I may go home early and do some cleaning and play some FIFA street 2 

I'm out! 

Soul Eats Body

So what? Another easy one, what's wrong? Not creative enough for you? 

America what the hell is wrong with you? Michael John's brings his A-Game and rocks my face with his version of "dream on" and then gets kicked off? Rigged!!!!!! I say if David Cook and Jason Castro get voted off I will be boycotting the rest of the show. This is freakin' ridiculous.  

Work went by extremely fast today. One shining moment took place, however. How's this for an awkward situation?

I'm working hard at my desk (cough, cough) the contractor walks by me and since I'm feeling nice, and am in a rather good mood I decide to say hi. NBD right? WRONG!!! 

 "Hey Manny how's it going?" I say with some freakin' sauce. I mean straight up confident, and kinda cocky to be truly honest. 

"Uhhh my name's Wally."  

Dead silence, as we stare blankly for what seemed like an eternity and a half.  I mean who do I think I am? ... 

But truthfully, I mean by all means it's not like I'm associated with that many people named Wally that the name is constantly on my tongue.  

Oh well off to hang out with Manny Richalds, Manny Johnson, and Manny .... 

uh...

Travolta? 

Or as I like to call them "The Manly Mannys" 

PEACE! 

Okay there's your new post Matt, True story although I'm really happy that I was able to include a picture of your cute face. 

Check me out!

I'm kickin it old school, I'm on aim 

if you got nothing to do I'm "racethetrain84"

First time ever signed up for "racethetrain" and someone had already taken it.... weird

In Friction

Okay, okay I know it's not that clever but its actually very fitting. The office has been one big mess lately. It seems like everyone hates each other... that's why I'm happily enjoying my new corner, far away from ... well... everything.  At least things seem to have calmed down quite a bit from when I left yesterday, people are much better moods. That goes without saying that the salesmen have yet to enter the office today so we'll see. But I suspect that I may have to post some awesome pics of me in my new diggs, doing awesome things , that no one can see. 

Random thoughts: 

Monster "juiced" licks taint! I'll give the go ahead to the orange and purple Amped. 

Practice was long last night, however the satisfaction it brought far out-weighed the tired. 

Resetting my alarm at 7am for 7:15am does nothing for me but probably annoys the crap out of my wife. 

The Office is on tonight awesome! but also kinda weird. 

That was the first time in a long time that I spelled the word weird correctly on my first attempt. 

Okay now I'm just trying. 

Well, I've now been here for about an hour and should probably get some work done. I'm going to try hard to post some wicked pictures today...but we'll see. 

Here Come the Gnome Cows

Someone complained that I do not title my blogs often enough for their liking. So now my titles will contain a theme. The theme being a song I like with a few word substitutes that to me, at least, sound funny. Note: I will try my best to make the substitutional words at least semi-rhyme to enhance the humor. 

So here's the run-down. I hate Jackie... well that's pretty much it. Yesterday I went to Ben (the office manager) and asked if I could move to Dawn's desk when she vacates it. He said this would be no problem, causing me to rejoice and start drawing up my decoration schematics. About an hour later I'm overheard speaking to Steve about my plan's to put in a sky-light, when Jackie, with her pompous voice, chimes  in with: 

"Dawn's desk is already spoken for" 

"By who" I questioned

"By me" she replied 

Kindly enough I told her "Well I already cleared it with Ben " 

She then said "Well I already cleared it with Dawn" 

Let me explain something to you all Dawn in terms of our company is literally... NO-ONE. Next Friday is her last day and honestly has no authority in matters regarding the office especially after her departure.  So you can understand my response of ..

"Dawn? who's Dawn? I don't know any Dawn that gets to make those kind of decisions" 

"Well we were actually going to talk to Ben about it." was all she could say as if it was some sort of trump card. Like the guy who watches the lottery sees the winning numbers and then petitions on the basis that he "was going" to go buy a ticket with those numbers on it... I wonder if that's ever happened. 

Long story short it came down to a coin-toss, in which by the tone of this blog, I'm sure you can tell who won. NOT ME. Damn you stupid 50 cent piece. What does Ben do to rectify the wrong that has been done to me. Offer's me the empty corner cube that everyone has been begging for. But what can I say... us Mexicans stick together. 

HELL YEAH!!!

In case you missed it last night Kansas was trailing by 9 pts with 2 minutes left, this is the final play of regulation that ended an awesome comeback leading to an overtime in which Kansas finished off their comeback by stomping the Memphis Tigers. Hands down the most exciting basketball game I've ever watched.

This must be what i look like to my computer... Poor computer. 

Everyone Please do not take this picture into account when you are placing your vote in my awesome poll that I've added to my awesome blog. 

Okay so Monday's here. What to say? Well since so far, Today hasn't provided anything of use to me, Let's recap an awesome weekend, and just for fun we'll do it in a list form with a bunch of fragmented sentences and a strange point system. Here goes! 

Saturday : Yard/Garage/Estate-Sales , Fun                                              8pts

   Funny Masks, Loud Music, Freddy's Parking Lot               9pts

   Red Robin dinner with friends                                                  8pts

   Weird Red Robin Waiter Guy not named Joel                      -4pts

     Kansas Beating UNC         8.5pts

      Memphis Beating UCLA       -1pt

   Drunk        9pts

   Tired       -1 pts

                           Sleep        5pts

Saturday's Total : 41.5 

Sunday: Parental Brunch  7pts

Grocery Shopping 5pts

NCAA march madness for ps2 $5.00  9pts

Playing NCAA march Madness for ps2 8pts

Safeway snacks, blockbuster rental/purchases (4 for $20)   7pts

Wristcutters 8pts

weird rainy/sunny day offset no pts awarded

Sleep  5pts

Sunday Total : 49

Looks like Sunday overall was a better day than Sunday. Oh well that's because I better get back to work. 

Smoke that SH!^ B!@#%$ HO's and Weed!

To the 2 A's and a D that actually read my blog I love you all so much! Except I love one of the A's more than the other ... Betcha can't guess which one! (the previous line was to be said in the sleaziest voice you can imagine with that weird little "finger wiggle/hand to the mouth" thing I do when I'm trying to be sleazy... In fact go back and read it again that way, as I'm sure it will be awesome.) HA I just want to go home and hang out with you guys right now! 

Okay, So here's the deal. Work is lame right now. Not like I hate my job, but nothing is really "post-worthy" these past few days.  Therefore I'm faced with the challenge of actually keeping a blog going. (We all know how long my NYC blog lasted) I've actually already passed that by 200% with this post. So Since I can count everyone that reads this blog on one hand , which I actually enjoy, it allows me to be as candid as one can get in a blog. It also frees me up to talk about nerdy things that most people would not appreciate in the same way my closest friends would, and that Dave can make fun of me about. 

 It seems like this will be Dawn's last week here.  Which kinda sucks because I like Dawn. Why couldn't it be Jackie's last week? All of this construction B.S. is starting to drive me crazy, All of the frames have been put up and when I come in it feels like I have to walk through a maze to get to my desk and then when I finally get here, there isn't even a piece of cheese waiting for me how bunk is that? I think after every little task I complete I should be rewarded with some cheesy goodness. Speaking of Cheesy Goodness. The Lasagna turned out okay it was not amazing, but it was something worth eating. I think my expectations are a little too high. I desperately desire to make the most unbelievable dish ever prepared by man, every time I try something new. Okay maybe not that extreme but I would love to make a dinner that you guys are in love with, not because I made it but because I truly struck it rich and found a kick-ass recipe, you know the kind of recipe where all of your friends are having a dinner party and every one's like OH MY GOSH YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR FAMOUS ....uhh.. ONION FRITTERS that you stole the recipe for off allveg.com (or what have you). I mean I think you got the idea.  Maybe I need to go on Hell's kitchen, yeah like I'd last a day there. But here's an interesting thought I would love nothing more to have Cheff Ramsey come here and be the office manager for a day and watch him own everybody...My luck he'd set his sights on me. 

I am literally so out of it that I can't even figure out what music to listen to right now. In case you haven't heard TMZ broke the news that David Cook (my Favorite A.I. contestant) was rushed to the hospital last night after his performance.  Here's the link . Overall seems like a pretty crappy situation and I really hope he can continue in the contest and hopefully win. 

Sorry I'm short on the Humor right now. But I can't always be the world's funniest creation 

*Sarcasm Off. 

Oh one more thing .  Stop Lurking my blog Alix! I made it so LiveJournal Users can comment my posts.... Show a little love. J/K You can totally lurk all you want. 

This post was written by me (Josh) during a slow time at my job. The Title for this post was inspired by my dear friend Dave, who just so happens to be the "D" mentioned in the preceding post.  I'm lame. 

This is what breakfast looked like today and has managed to remain all that I have consumed today. In the hustle and bustle of a crazy work day which involved driving to wapato and toppenish to pick up competitors phone books from their respective chambers (of commerce) and cutting out many many ads I forgot to eat lunch. "yeah my pants feel a little loose"  This rarely happens, I will say I love my job the most when I have some errand to run. Something, that in a normal situation would never be fun is the best news ever. There will probably never be a time when Dave and I are sitting in the garage and the following conversation takes place.

"Man I'm bored" - Josh

"Yeah Man what do you want to do until the girls get home?" - Dave

"I don't know what do you think we should do man" - Josh

"Well Man we could drive to wapato and toppenish to pick up competitors phone books from their respective chambers (of commerce) "  - Dave

"Yeah Man let's go!!!!!" -Josh 

I just get the feeling that situation will probably never occur. However when someone suggests that in a work environment, my reaction is similar to the reaction I would have right now if someone offered me a Quiznos Turkey Ranch and Swiss. AKA I'd be all over that.  .....Man I'm hungry. 

That being said nothing really exciting happened at work today. No I didn't hear Jackie sing "I heard it through the grapevine". No I didn't have to explain to Dawn how to eject a cd from her computer. And No Phyllis didn't launch into one of her "history of the yellow page industry" sermons. Except she did teach me that Dex, Embarq, and Sprint yellow pages are all divisions of H.R. Donnley... Oh that didn't mean anything to you? Join the club. 

James will be here tonight which = awesome. What doesn't = awesome I'll probably be asleep when he gets here... I wonder if I take a nap when I get home if I can just stay up all night...hmmmm. 

Welcome to my life.

So I'm starting a new blog.  We'll see how long this lasts. It will be an account of all my "awesome" stories from work as the happen with the most vivid descriptions because they will be fresh in my mind. This way i won't have to try and remember the name of the song that played on the soft rock hits station 4x today when I try and explain to someone how much I hate Billy Preston and how "nothing from nothing means..." I'm gonna throw the radio through the window..... the only window in our office that is not tinted,  which just so happens to be the one right behind me that shines directly onto my computer screen. Good idea?

 No one will read this. 

Really my work is not that bad, I enjoy my job, it's just sometimes I get a bit annoyed and need a place to vent and hopefully along the way some other people can laugh or at least identify with someone.   

So my first amazing story for the day is as follows. 

 

Last night the construction crew started working on putting our walls up. That's a good thing what it really means is when the salesman are having their video conference with the owner of the company I will not be the weird guy walking around in the background to and from the copy  machine multiple times.  What's not a good thing is hearing everyone argue whether the frame they have so far is actually the right size of 10 ft. 

"I say it's 6 ft" - Jackie

"Looks like 7.5 ft to me" - Dawn

"No No its easily 9 ft" - Ida 

Ding Ding Ding. Ladies and gentleman Ida is your winner. Now for my comments during this conversation. 

"Jackie how could this be 6 ft tall when I am close to 6 ft and cannot reach the top" 

Her response... Swear to God .... "Maybe it's 6 ft metric" I'll give you a minute to digest that and wipe the tears from your eyes. 

Also 7.5 ft seems like a ridiculous guess to me.  but who knows maybe she was talking about 7.5 ft metric. 

Current office music : Get down Tonight by KC and the Sunshine Band.